My Meat Conundrum

Since I was as young as I can remember, I’ve craved beef. One of my earliest memories is my mom cooking spaghetti and meatballs for my Grandpa Jerry in the lates 80s, and I begged her for one, she declined.

I used to pick through stir fry to pull out the over cooked cubed beef. It was all I wanted from that dish.

It wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I started studying how food makes me feel not only in the moment of eating but for hours and days after, the beginnings of my delay diet philosophy.

I was quick to identify meat, especially beef, makes me feel good. Not in the mouth rush way of french fries or ice cream, but in a satiated way that lasts for many hours, or days. I discovered potatoes caused my life long eczema, and that I operate with more steady energy and emotions when I fast until lunch time and avoid carb laden meals.

I don’t get this same sensation with pork or chicken. In fact, pork makes me emotional 30 – 90 minutes after eating it, a sensation I can’t explain. For this reason and the documented intellect of pigs, I rarely eat pork.

Beef, fungi, shellfish, crustaceans, eggs, fish, and vegetables, make me feel like my best self, and in that order, for the longest period. But it’s fucked I know. There are catastrophic environmental and ethical implications for animal foods on this list that have been illuminated by the COVID-19 epidemic.

In a not perfect, but better than nothing approach, I opt to buy pasture raised eggs and dairy products from cows that get pasture time. The beef though I still buy standard at the grocery store, my goal is to switch to buying direct from a local farmer. The seafood comes from sustainable and regulated fisheries.

My whole life until the delay diet revelations, I was tired, emotional, and had oozing eczema sores from my eyelids to my knee bends.

When I identified what food makes me feel good, emotionally and physically — food that gives me vigour, I’ve pursued it.

I try to eat vegetarian once a week, and vegetarian meals throughout the week, to get protein from sustainable fisheries, especially local shellfish, and I’m opting to buy proteins from producers that give animals a better life and document it.

I went vegetarian for lent in 2012. Though my eczema didn’t return, chronic fatigue did. My BMs were loamy and uncomfortable. This vegetarian experience didn’t layer on processed foods either, a trap many vegetarians fall into. It emphasized wholefoods, especially vegetables, beans, and rice.

Even now on my vegetarian days, the familiar fatigue returns unless I integrate eggs and butter (both from pasture raised animals).

So now what, what to do about this ethical and environmental conundrum? For me, I’m not willing to make it all or nothing, and sacrifice mental and physical vigor (I know there are incredibly vigorous vegetarians and vegans, but for me personally, this has not been the case on that diet).

Fortunately I’m in a position to afford animal protein that is at least striving to be ethical, sans beef, which I mentioned prior.

My brother, Eric and his partner Jamie are vegetarians and skilled cooks who along with YouTube videos of America’s Test Kitchen have introduced me to recipes and cooking techniques that make vegetarian recipes really scrumptious, and a viable feast that can successfully be free of meat. My brother does these amazing egg scrambles and vegetarian soups from scratch (his secret ingredient may be my grass fed butter), his partner Jamie is quick to cook up a robust lentil stew and incredibly thoughtful salads. America’s Test Kitchen taught me how to cook mushrooms in a way that makes them a central dish that can readily replace meat in a meal.

I am okay not eating meat all the time, yet I feel like I need it to feel my best. Is it okay for me to do less meat, and for the majority of the animal products I buy, to be less cruel? Can I get a pass? Or is compromise unacceptable when dealing with birds, mammals, and fish?

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• Potatoes Caused My Eczema
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